listen...can you hear that?

how do you listen to the still small voice, a whisper, in a world were everyone is screaming his or her own dogma?

like the guy that just walk in. i can't hear his voice, but his cloths and swagger say it all. they're yelling, "i'm to cool and i know it!"

and that girl that just walk by. her outfit she is wearing, from the sweatpants and t-shirt, to the look on her face shouts, "i need an other coffee or i'm going to fall asleep right wear i'm standing!"

these are just two people here near me. this does not include all the music, movies, news, television, friends, family, information and noise that i come into contact with every day. now i ask in a world with so much sound, how do you hear a whisper?

it's more complicated then just listening harder. hearing the Lord whisper is not as easy as me just speaking less or simplifying my life, because i'm an american. i speak, act and dress my mind. what goes in must come out.

elijah heard the whisper. he was not fooled or doped by a wind that tried to tare down a mountain. or the horror and awesomeness of an earth quake and he was not fooled by even the beauty and terror of a mighty fire. he waited it all out, he heard the whisper.

he was a man on the run, but he was waiting to get a word from the Lord. instead of running aimlessly, as i do far to much, he paused. he could have ran the length and width of the world, but he waited to hear the whisper. in the whisper he found a truly marvelous thing. he found the next step.

i find it ironic that i yell so loud, "Lord, i have to hear you! give me the next step! please." there is nothing wrong with this prayer. it's just frustrates me that the next is in front of me on i'm to paralyzed to move. great i've heard the whisper now i just have to get up and move.

are you my leader?

well today i had lunch with a really great man of God. his name is jermy he is the young adult pastors here at tri-city christian center. we went to lunch at micdoogals. i had the great big mac and he had some fish thing. when the word pastor comes to mind i think of a man and he is preaching on sunday morning with the light from out side shinning in. but that is not all a pastor is and that is no different for jermy. jermy reminds me of a man who if he was to save your life would say when you went to give him a rewored, " that's all right i was just doing the right thing." he seems like he would do any thing in his power to see the kingdom of God advanced. that is a pastor.

they say that, "you have to have someone following you to be a leader." but i say, "there are several key things that you have to do before any one will ever look your way for leadership." before i get to that i have to say that leadership is influence. the level of influence you have with a person will determine your level of leadership over them. so here are four of the things that people are attracted to in a potential leader.

the first thing to attract people to you is the most obvious. 'you must have the discipline down.' you have to be a man or woman of God. in his word and presses. this is the foundation that every thing is built on. and it is the hardest to maintain. but if this goes amiss the hole thing comes down. although if this is right then you will be able to stand through all the improbability, ludicrousness and crap that the world, devil and other people can dish out. you can fake this for only so long then you will be found out right about the time when your world falls down all around you.

secondly, ' you must have a competent view of were you are going. also knowing were those you already lead are going.' as a lead you have to be ahead of the game. i have been playing madden football lately and to be good at it you have to look about five moves ahead. the same is true for leads in real life. you have to see the big picture and know you and your teams spot in that picture.

there is a part two to this one. once you see were you want to be you have to be able to get there. like in madden i know that i want to win the supper bowl. and that is great but that will not win me the trophy. before i see my team in the super bowl i have to make it to the post season by winning regular season games. and before i win games i have to score points. but before that i have to call the right plays. and before that i have to have the right men on and off the field. but before that i have to. ok i think that you get the picture. that if the picture in your head going to come out and life be brought to it there a lot of little steps that have to come first. the one dude was right when he said, "one small step for man. one giant step for man kind."

ok i know i said four thinks earlier but this is getting really long and if i was to put all four out then you wouldn't buy my book.

ok "in conclusion" these things i saw in jermy today as we talked. what i saw was someone that i would follow. not only would i follow him but i'm looking for opportunities to minister along side him. and i am picky who i will do that with. i think that everyone has some thing to teach me but this is someone that i can't wait to learn from.

comfortable?

they say that "if you are comfortable then you are not growing." i say that "if you are growing then you may just be in a lot of pain." comfort can be a nice thing. comfort can be as simple as getting my sower drain cleaned out so that i can now use it. or it could be a life that i had come to fight and live for and i even started to love that life that i had. but that is who i was, but not who i am today.
then i was just zac the 'student'. now i am 'pastor' zac. i am the same person. i have the same thoughts, aspirations, even the words that i make up and say. but every thing round me has change. i have not been dunked but immersed in a world that is not the norm to me. the people, the church, the leadership, the town, the responsibilities that are given to me, and my heart. because of every thing that has changed round me i had hoped to be the same person to have the same life.
but lets be really nothing will ever go back to the way it was. not one single thing. you can remember it. you can see pics of it. you can even talk or cry about the way that things use to be, but you will never go back.
i guess what i need to ask is, how do you go on? this is a question that i asked when i left for jamaica and when i came back to the states. when i left for masters commission and now that i have moved on. how do you go on?
what does it take to change your mind? everything has changed. and i am no longer comfortable. i don't know if this is a good thing, but i do know that it hurts a hole lot. i can't wait for time to go by and this place becomes home for me. but the fear is that when it does become home then i may just leave again.
they say that "home is were the heart is?" home to me has been in several differrent countries. in differrent biuldings and not all of them were i laid my head at night. if it is true that 'home is were the heart is.' them i can't wait to get home.
Lord, i can't wait till i can look you in the face and see you smile. i can't wait to water ski with you on the crystal sea. i under stand how i can miss something that is no more. but how can i miss a place that i have never been?
well God, once again i give you my life. i give you everything that i am. everything that is me. i offer all of that to you. what can you do with a broken vessel lord? as the bible says, i am a man of unclean lips. take the cole cleans not just me lips but clean all of me. here i am use me.

hey

hey this me is that you? o well that is swell.